But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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