I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
