I hope mine doesn't look like that
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
