Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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