its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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