Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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