OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
