i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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