Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
