idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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