Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
time to smoke my breakfast
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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