I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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