I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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