so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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