hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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