i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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