Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
