I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
