Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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