I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
