No stitches, just platelets and will power
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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