It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
