So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
