Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
