My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Still dying that you shit outside
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
