I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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