We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
