After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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