do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
