I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
