Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
