Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
