I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Still dying that you shit outside
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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