i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
