i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
