it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
