Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
