i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
