well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
