I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
