Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
