That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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