Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
