I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
