Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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