Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize