wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
