Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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