Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
