Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
