i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
